Long Night

So last night was a very long night, Connor threw up out of no where, well not exactly out of no where, I knew it was going to happen 30 seconds before it did. This is still a mystery, we have not been giving him zofran since he has been home and the last time he threw up was the day we cut zofran cold turkey, but what doesn’t make sense is that we did not give him zofran Friday night and he was fine (Thursday I had them give him an iv push right before we left). I made the zofran and he slept the rest of the night and was fine today, but the hysterics of cleaning him up woke up Claire so it was a very long night, because Claire did not want to go to sleep. In a search for answers to the throwing up I let my head go to tumor regrowth or progression, but in my heart I know that makes no sense given we have a completely clean scan 4 weeks ago, there should be no way (knock on would) that a tumor could sprout and cause these types of symptoms in such a short amount of time, so I tucked that thought away as my PTSD. Needless to say we premed him tonight and are hoping for the best.

The rest of today was about Claire. My mom is joining me at clinic tomorrow so Claire can come, since Con is not nuetrophenic he should have playroom privileges, so I got thinking to myself why should I leave her here? If she comes she won’t be left, she can see and be part of where Connor goes and perhaps get some therapy and maybe make some progress. Today we had play therapy and I loved it for Claire, she had such a good session, so focused, good imagination, communicating and listening, I only wish she could act this way at school.

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We then had Claire’s family day and after the throw up incident and Connor’s “fake” white cells we decided the risk of exposure was not worth it, even if it would have helped Claire. With both her parents to herself, she was more clingy than ever. During therapy this morning we discussed this and the decision was to let her cling, and perhaps she would decide to have fun. Well we saw glimpses of fun, so I guess her therapist was right. This is just so heart breaking though, I just want precancer or post Boston Claire back, she is so traumatized and would normally be a maniac (which has its own issues) at something like today. I just hope with therapy and some other changes we are making we can get through the next few months and start healing her and continue developing her.

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Oh and I got a picture of Brady and Con from yesterday, you can see how much they love each other!

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One thought on “Long Night

  1. Erin, I love that you include all these wonderful pics of the twins with their adventures. In years to come when the twins look back at them they will see how loved they are and that they parents WANTED to be with them!!! A very powerful message. Go Connor!

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